It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
