Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
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