so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
