are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
