Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
