I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
it was like eating out sand paper
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
