We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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