My hand turned me down
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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