dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
