i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
