i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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