so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Randomize
