College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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