Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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