I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
