She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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