We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
