im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
