Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
3pm strippers are depressing
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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