Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
