Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
