FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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