i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
