So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
