is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
