Where is the hickey?
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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