yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Couch. On fire.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
