hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I looked at my own cervix.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
