She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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