Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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