Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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