i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
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