Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Randomize
