Please, let me fuck your mom
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
