My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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