My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
