I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Boobs are out for the taking
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
My breath smells like gin and sadness
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
