yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
bring money and cleavage
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Randomize
