We're like a lot better than the average bears
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
