I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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