Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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