3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Tell her she can't have a vagina
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
