my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
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