if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
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