Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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