you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
