Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Everclear isn't food dammit
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
