if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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