Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
