I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
My bed smells like the plague
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
